SUPERNOVA*

Monday, September 23, 2002

David had his 14 YEAR OLD girlfriend three way call me. He was very upset about the fight we had last night, I basicly called him a pedaphile and hung up on him. Its really sad. So then tonight he has her call me and was jabbering away I supose trying to make a point and I was like "You know David, if you didnt think this was wrong she wouldnt have gone from being your Girlfriend, to your friend with a title, when I yelled at you." And then he went on some tiraid about not being loved and a bunch of shit and I said "I think you do it for attention, because you know DAMN well your loved." and he said So "I guess its over then" and I was just like "Its been over for a hell of a long time" and Amy{the 14 year old} was like "you are a bitch" and so I went off about how I was sick of taking care of him and not getting anything back and watching out for him and picking up after him and now hes her mess. And then I hung up.

Im really pissed off at Mom for even taking the call! Its like I lie for her all the time when she doesnt want to talk to someone, but when I need her for my own sanities sake to lie shes like "No I cant do that" SO Im forced to talk to Bryan and Daivd, though this past week I must have PMS or something coz I finally got the guts to tell um both to go to hell. Im so sick of them. I really truely am. Its like enough is enough people

I sent out a mass email to my site members last night annoucing my departure and Tristan went ape shit. And was threatening to leave, he always does that when hes upset, so we had a long talk.. and I dont really feel like remembering right now. But at least it wasnt as bad as the times hes accused me of emotinally blackmailing him. He said I was a spoilt brat out to distroy the board because I could be with him, the truth of the matter is I thought I was doing the right thing.

I seem to be wrong about that a lot lately. I thought I was doing the right thing by not telling him, I thought I was doing the right thing but just keeping it all locked away, I thought I was doing the right thing in telling Peter about Nichole, I thought I was right in leaving the board, I thought I was right in being able to go to Rei and tell him how badly Im hurt over this whole Cally thing, but I was wrong. Will used to say my selfsacrefice was fake, that no one could be that giving... I never thought I was fake... I thought it was real and true. But then he posted this
Have you people ever noticed that when Zu{Riley} makes a board it thrives? But when she leaves, everything goes with her. No one really seems to have anything of meaning left to say. I mean sure, we all have our ups and downs but you know guys, whenever Riley's around you just want to smile or laugh because she makes you feel all warm and fuzzie inside.
No one on this board should even think about taking her place, beacuse, although, they may be good at RPing and sh*t, nobody can ever fill her shoes. If Riley goes then this board just isn't worth going to anymore.

For those confused I am Riley on that site, anyway whatever I was just surposed... no bad suprised but... suprised. A fwe other people are all for looking for a replacement, and yea... I dunno Im feeling mixed about the whole mess I mean Tristan has a point, it isnt just that its Cally, I would more then likely feel this way with anyone, but... well part of it IS that its Cally. ::sigh:: ICKIES. Im just feeling Ickies today.

Im really tired all of a sudden... like I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep for hours you know? Just dream the world away, and then maybe when I wake up I wont hurt so badly.
I feel bad Ive been unloading so much on Shar, Kirst and Annie. They all have so much in their own lives and I hate to think Im making it worse, but no doubt I am. I worry.. I know I shouldnt but I really do. Im not an easy person to be around you know?

My kitty is curled up on my feet playing with the frayed part of the hem.. what a weirdo.

xoxo SJ at 1:45 AM.

About Me

Name ♥ Sara
Birthday ♥ o1//o2
Horoscope ♥ Aquarius
School ♥ Of Hard Knocks

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