SUPERNOVA*

Tuesday, September 17, 2002

Recap

The title says it all doesnt it? ::sigh:: I swear to god my self distructive streak is getting bigger. Here are the detials on my entryless days, {I made entires in my Kiwi Journal lol}

Friday Night
I was talking to Trin at like.. 8:00ish and shes like, "Adam and I are going on the cruise tonight you should come along, we havent got to hang out in forever and I miss you." So in record time I had my shower, hair done and clothes fount by 8:45. She came at like 9:15 and we left for Ontario. First we ran by the skate park but her boyfriend Adam wasnt there and we were bosred so we drove up to the mall and ran into her ex who was like "What I dont even get a hug??" And then we left there and drove down to "Hick Corner" and saw Casey and Stormy. It was so funny! They were all yelling at cars and shit then we drove back ot the skate part to see Eli.

Eli has an icky girlfriend who is a slut. No to ways about it. I never really liked her when we were in school either shes just dirty. Anyway he looked so good yall. Just so... god i dont know he has these great arms... and his lips are still sooo kissable... he didnt even say hi to me.. I wanted to cry but I didnt. Then we went and sat with Sarah and Beato talking about what was going on and that they are both really sikc with hte flu or something... I dont know why they were out is f they're sick BUT lol they were. God it felt so good to see them!

Then Trin showed Sarah how to drive stick and I thought we were going to die, then they had to go to the bathroom but hte ones at hte skate part were NASTY, so we drove to the gas station and then back by "Hick Corner" But Case had already left and Stormy wasnt back yet. So we drove over to Fiesta and met Adam friend William, OMG SOOOOO cute. LoL Hes a clean cut hispanic guy, his dad own the place and he looked so cute in his little waiters uniform. Anyway I met him and hes a cutie, then we went back and talked to Stormy.

We finally got back ot hte skate park and Kristy was screwing around with her Boyfriend in his truck so we are all pretty pissed off at her coz its just not right that she would shun us for a guy, we've never done that to her. Sarah was like ready to cry. Sarah is a tough little shit and NEVER cries but she wanted to tonight. She thought Trin was putting her on or something. Anyway, tomorrow I have Gram's B-day and then we should get home around 9ish at night and Trin and I will go out again hopefully. Ive seriously missed the "group" shit we did.

Saturday
We went to Grams early 85th B-day Party. And I procedded to get shit faced because I cant stand my family, and it was there. between caroline and I we knocked back two bottles of wine, some champain and a couple shots and of course BEER. I dont really line beer.. its bitter bitter, but wine is pretty good lol or what *they* had was, anyway needless to say I didnt go out that night and then slept till noon on Sunday, and Im STILL hung over. I feel ill.

I shouldnt drink... it makes me a bad roll model.. and I was just like so.. I dont know I just didnt want to deal. I swear to god Gram actually said "If youd lose weight youd almost be pretty" Crazy old woman. Shes talking about a CNA having sex with her pratically comitose roommate, but she doesnt think the roommate is comitose she thinks the roommate makes perfect sense... sinility... very scary.

And then I got a bunch of shit for not having a "real" job. Im just like whatever pass the wine.... Im a very complant drunk apprently. I was even really DRUNK i mean I remember everything and I wasnt giggling or falling down, but Fox and I got into it when I got home coz she hates that they get to me.. ::sigh::

Sunday
Went with Mum to work, fixed her computers, ran papers, and watched MTV in her classroom. I really didnt DO anything, I chatted to Rei for awhile but it was pretty random. Not anything really important. Mom and I couldnt get along for the life of us, finally I took the keys and went home telling her to call me when she wanted to me pick her up... then I took the phone off the hook... I know its evil but I was hung over and felt like shit. I didnt need to hear from her what a screw up I am.

So that catches you up on my weekend, Monday I didnt do anything, just laundry and stuffs......

Would you say I was an egotistical fat ass ho who tries to make people fall in love with her just to toy with them? Christina said the former, and Tristan has implied the latter many times and I just.. I mean... DO you think I am? I mean be honest, I can trust you all to be honest right? You wouldnt like just lie to make me feel better... would you? Normally I would tell him to fuck off or cry and make him feel bad, and just ignor her.. but after all the shi with my family... I know you dont get why I care... I just do.

On the topic of Eli, Trin now says he isnt good enough for me and there has to be someone out there better then a gehtto pinp wanna be with a skez of a girl, If I knew all the places hes been I wouldnt want him.... Aulus isnt talking to me. Normally Id say fuck it but I really liked this kid, he was sweet and funny, even if he WAS a pot head. Christina doesnt even LIKE him. She just.. I dunno, its like so weird, I start talking to a guy, flirting and now they are together? That is soo frigging wrong. Almost as wrong as Lynn* liking Ris*{*=name change} she doesnt even KNOW him you know? Very few people really know him, and NO one knows him like I do. I love that kid so much. Hes like so... I dont know. Hes not perfect by any stretch of hte imagination, but in his imperfections, in his ugly side, I find myself caring about him more becuase he can show it to me. Once I told him "Me? I always thought I would be something, Idont know special, but I wasnt, not till I met you, and then, in you needing me, in you feeling safe with me, I became someone very special." He cries at my poetry, laughs at my jokes, calls me his best friend, and I am so in love with this kid.

::sigh:: Im so sick. I couldnt over indulge in liqour tonight so Im gorging on cake, icecream, and frosting, I dont even care either... its like blarg lol Im out to prove my family right you know? Like its to frigging scary to try and break out... good luck getting Eli or Ris to notice me NOW right? Blarg fuck um eh?Im so tired... idont even know why... blarg. Im not even talking to anyone who would make me tired.. Mizza is soo hooking up with Nick tonight... I think thats why Im beign a bitch Im worried about that girl, she was like 'Im on the pill chill"' she doesnt get how I can still be worried?!!!! Jebus christ child gonna turn me grey! Shes one of the few members of my Dads family I can stand, tho I more then stand her, I love that girl shes the greatest. We both call eachother sobbing all the time over stupid ass boys and then eat ice cream together and feel better.

Fox and I get so agrivated with eachother, we are both to stubborn, we are so much a like, but still so differnt, its really weird sometimes I look at myseld and wonder what she sees. I dont see the me she does. I sit there and try to tell her all the wrong things, all the bad things I see and shes like "huh what are you talking about? Your perfect. You the most kind and caring person Ive ever met" She loves me for the same reasons I love her, we never give up on eachother. Its like... she is so devoted to me, but she feels that way about me. Like that I am so unwaveringly devoted to her it blows her mind... but I kinda feel there is no half way in any friendship........

xoxo SJ at 5:16 PM.

About Me

Name ♥ Sara
Birthday ♥ o1//o2
Horoscope ♥ Aquarius
School ♥ Of Hard Knocks

Currently

Listening to ♥ Blue October Reading ♥ Reservation Blues

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