SUPERNOVA*

Sunday, March 09, 2003

Bah

I am quite tired. I don't know why. I read Memoirs of a Geiash. I have to say I loved this book. It is just so vivid. I seriously was transported to the Geisha District. Very Cool.I've been meaning to put one of my stories up here but... I dont quite have the energy. I don't really write anything anymore, unless its bleak poetry. Sad I know. But its sort of like Ive shut myself off, when I was with Tristan I didn't realize I was doing it, and now that hes gone Im finding myself very alone a lot of the time. Someone told me he's not happy. I don't know how I feel about this. Its quite strange, for all my cries of self preservation, I still can't stop caring, I can't cut those final ties and just close myself off from loving him, if I did that I think deep down I would stop loving everything. There is no middle of the road. When you close yourself off its just done.And then its not even as though I wouldn't love him, I would just not acknowledge that part of myself. It's not that I cease to care, I would simply hide that part of myself... sad isnt it? We spend so much time behind masks, I sometimes wonder if I even know myself. Ive been listening to "Damaged" by TLC, "Unwell" by Matchbox20, "Fool" By Shakira, "If You're Not The One" By Daniel Bedingfield, "Iris" by GooGoo Dolls, and "Everything to Everyone" by Everclear. I have them on repeat. I don't know why excatly, except each of them has certin lines that speak to my mood.*shrug*.I have to be the most depressing person I know. How Sad

xoxo SJ at 11:50 AM.

About Me

Name ♥ Sara
Birthday ♥ o1//o2
Horoscope ♥ Aquarius
School ♥ Of Hard Knocks

Currently

Listening to ♥ Blue October Reading ♥ Reservation Blues

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