SUPERNOVA*

Sunday, March 09, 2003

Conversations

I just got off the phone with Mi... *sigh* I miss that boy. He leaves in like an hour.
The conversation went something like-
M-Hey you sexy baby
A-Hey Mi Mi
M-How you doin? (picture Joey from Friends)
A-Ok you cant hang out with the boys anymore.
M-Im just teasing, how was your night?
A-Bad, I don't want to talk about it.
M-What happend?
A-I dont want to tak about it
M-Alright fine, what are you doing?
A-Dishes and singing "Betty Davis Eyes"
M-Ooo sing to me!
A-*sings the entire song +Cursin and Some other song on the Duets Soundtrack*
M-I would marry you just to have you sing to me
A-I sing for you now
M-alright so its really coz I wanna tap your ass
A-*gasp* what would Angel think?
M-Aww Boo, she knows youre my one true love
A-if only that were true!

And then we bullshited about what he did last night, he promised to call as soon as he got home, and write more often (which I will believe when it happens)

I dunno... the stuff he said yesterday is still running through my head... we were watching a movie and he said "He isnt worth this you know, no guy is worth losing yourself over." Which of course made me cry so he kind of pulled me aganst him and just let me cry, without saying anything, lol his white under-shirt was smeared black from my makeup,and then I was just I just kind of leaned on his chest, it was weird he took my arm, looked at it, and kissed my cut and said "Someday you will find a man who finds beauty in every part of you, even these".....

I just think... Im not meant to be loved in that way. I know Laura, Rei, Gabi, Nialle, Chris, Jessie and everyone love me in their way, in the "You are a beautiful wounded person who looks after us and are bright and blow us away" way... in the sister/friend/muse way. I know they love me... but in love is so much more then that.

FallenAngl: I think maybe Im just not meant to be loved in that sense
Rei: i don't know abbs
Rei: maybe you just haven't found the right one
Rei: maybe he's still waiting for you around the corner
FallenAngl: maybe there isnt a right one for a spiteful bitter twisted self martyring misery junkie
Rei: mmgh
Rei: abbs
Rei: you know i think you're notthing of the sort
Rei: and i'm sure others will too
Rei: just keep your chin up
Rei: everything happens for a reason
FallenAngl: did it ever occure to any of you that the reason Tristan didnt chase after me in any sense was because Im simply not worth it? And that maybe this time I really DID screw everything up?

xoxo SJ at 2:21 AM.

About Me

Name ♥ Sara
Birthday ♥ o1//o2
Horoscope ♥ Aquarius
School ♥ Of Hard Knocks

Currently

Listening to ♥ Blue October Reading ♥ Reservation Blues

Links

♥ Vintage Vanity
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♥ Vanity Fiction
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Playlist

♥ Wazoo Sings
♥ Chealsea Genzano
♥ Lennon Murphy
♥ Imogen Heap
♥ Frou Frou
♥ Bess Rogers
♥ Regina Spektor
♥ Will Hoge
♥ Lyden
♥ Kyte
♥ Josh Ritter
♥ Amos Lee
♥ David James