SUPERNOVA*

Thursday, May 08, 2003

I. have. cramps. YUCK! I mean I shouldn't complain it means the stupid pills are doing what they are suposed to but Im just so burnt out and tired and bleck. I know I haven't writen in ages, the damn computer went nuts and blah.
I just feel... lost you know? Like here I am at the thresh hold of a new world, as soon as I hear back from the admissons board Im pretty sure I'll be in college and living in the dorms next fall, which is great right? But I just feel so... not happy.
Don't get me wrong, Im not unhappy persay, its not that at all, but... Im not... ok either. Im sort of messed up and in-between. But then I think 'get over it'. I have a great boyfriend, who is now sure he wants to be my husband, I have amazing friends, who have worried and worried over me while I was away, and I've actually lost weight (Im lookin almost dead sexy lol).
But then the things that get me down are like... Jay, and the way she is and the way she doesnt think about anyone else or how what she does affects them, how it might hurt them.... she can call me a Drama Queen if she wants, I am, I admit it whole heartedly, but somethings are more important then possible storylines. Laura brought up that maybe since shes friends with tristan shes thinking about him feeling left out, and you know as selfish as it is, I wanted to ask "well what about me?"
I mean... what about me! I cant go anywhere, role play anywhere without fear of having to deal with him.... and I can't deal with him. I just cant. Im not that strong. And Im still hurt, it still does my head in that I was there for him non-stop for 6 and a half months and when I needed him he couldn't take it anymore. It fucks with my whole sense of love and caring and what i should be doing for people.
And... Jay doesnt get it, or doesnt care, I dont know which at this point

xoxo SJ at 8:58 AM.

About Me

Name ♥ Sara
Birthday ♥ o1//o2
Horoscope ♥ Aquarius
School ♥ Of Hard Knocks

Currently

Listening to ♥ Blue October Reading ♥ Reservation Blues

Links

♥ Vintage Vanity
♥ Myspace Vanity
♥ Vanity Fiction
♥ Profile Vanity

Playlist

♥ Wazoo Sings
♥ Chealsea Genzano
♥ Lennon Murphy
♥ Imogen Heap
♥ Frou Frou
♥ Bess Rogers
♥ Regina Spektor
♥ Will Hoge
♥ Lyden
♥ Kyte
♥ Josh Ritter
♥ Amos Lee
♥ David James