SUPERNOVA*

Sunday, March 14, 2004

I completley wasted yesterday, I went back to bed after I made my entry and fucking just slept. Slept too much probably. Woke up feeling groggy and disoriented. Made me all dizzy and shit. Took pain pill, crashed for another hour. I think Im slipping down this road of depresson I don't know how to get out of. It worries me some. Like I see it coming, I know what it will bring, but I don't know how to stop it, I don't know how to get out of the way of this train. I don't want to go to that place again. Im so much less when Im there. I know that now.Talked to Trisha for like three hours last night. She's getting really fed up with Tristin Travis and Kimber. Honestly I can't blame her. Everytime Im fucking around Travis I wan't to beat him. Seriously he's just a bad selfish person, and I don't like or apprecate how he makes me feel about me. It makes me litterally sick to my stomach.When Im around Tristin its not SO bad, but even she sort of makes me feel like whats going on with me doesn't really matter. It somehow always gets turned around on to how bad she's feeling, how dark she feels. And I hate it, because it just seems so selfish that I give and give and give and never get anything back from them. The one time Travis did pull me aside to ask me what was wrong, he turned it into a speech about God. *sigh* I just... I want to get as good as I give, and the only people I feel give that to me, at least from the college, are Melissa and Trisha. They're the only ones who talk about me, and missing me when Im not there. They're the only ones who really seem to worry or care that I've given up my life for other people. With them its not constantly "me me me" Which is nice because I don't ever really get that from anyone besides Jay Laura and Shaun.I love Tristin to death, I really do, but it just bothers me that shes still so immature, and that she tries to hard to be punk/goth. Its not about Fashion, its about a movement, a message. And quite honestly, though I don't look it, I am so much more Goth in truth. She doesn't have a dakrness, she doesn't have inner demons. She's so... false sometimes. And judgmental. Which is really hypocrtical of me because Im juding her. It just bothers me, like a lot sometimes.In other news, if I get my FASA shit together, I should be going back to college for Spring term. I can't wait. I miss my girls so much, and I miss having a REAL life. *nod* It will be good for me. Also must find job. Now I must finish dishies.

xoxo SJ at 2:28 PM.

About Me

Name ♥ Sara
Birthday ♥ o1//o2
Horoscope ♥ Aquarius
School ♥ Of Hard Knocks

Currently

Listening to ♥ Blue October Reading ♥ Reservation Blues

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♥ Wazoo Sings
♥ Chealsea Genzano
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