SUPERNOVA*

Friday, July 09, 2004

The last day and a half have been completely surreal. After class yesterday Mom and I drove up to lost lake to see Jodie, her mom, and the kids. We got there things went alright, I mean nothing to really write home about. The camp fire smoke seemed to follow me wherever the hell I went so I was smelly like burnt wood and sap by the time we left. Face was also streaked with sootyness. We got just to the other side of Counsle when Mom was pulled over for speeding. Thats all right and good, he wasn't even going to give her a ticket, except that one her drivers lience had lapsed and so had her insurance. Its long about 9 at night then, all my friends are either drunk or at work. Aunt Carol had put in a 15 hour day and couldnt hold her eyes open for the 2 and a half hour drive to come get us, so there was a motel the other side of town, and it was actually really nice for such a little place but... I dont know. I was tired and hot and firesmoke smelly. I took a long shower and didn't feel clean. Staied up all night watching TV because the stress of dealing with my mother made me sick. Paced the floor, cried some, yelled at her some, gave her the silent treatment alot. Wishing I hadn't caved and had a cigarette the night Brandi and I got drunk. Was craving them last night mostly because I was unhappy and didn't have the money for them.I love my mother. Really I do. But I dont understand her, even in all my childish irresponciblity, I KNOW you dont let your licence and insurance expire and then fucking drive! Hello. How stupid can one person be. We're looking at a huge fine, and possible suspended licence. Which blows because while I can drive, I dont even techincally have my permit yet. No lectures I know Im a slacker but I hate driving. In the country Im alright, you know long winding roads up to the lake or whatever but in the city Im hopless I get behind the wheel and I have panic attacks litterally.Anyway family reunion is tomorrow I dont know how Im getting there, or more over how Im facing my dad when I do. I feel sick, Im stressed, and with the excpetion of my online friends I hate the whole fucking world.

xoxo SJ at 9:00 PM.

About Me

Name ♥ Sara
Birthday ♥ o1//o2
Horoscope ♥ Aquarius
School ♥ Of Hard Knocks

Currently

Listening to ♥ Blue October Reading ♥ Reservation Blues

Links

♥ Vintage Vanity
♥ Myspace Vanity
♥ Vanity Fiction
♥ Profile Vanity

Playlist

♥ Wazoo Sings
♥ Chealsea Genzano
♥ Lennon Murphy
♥ Imogen Heap
♥ Frou Frou
♥ Bess Rogers
♥ Regina Spektor
♥ Will Hoge
♥ Lyden
♥ Kyte
♥ Josh Ritter
♥ Amos Lee
♥ David James