SUPERNOVA*

Thursday, September 09, 2004

Brilliant Stupidity

Ive done a lot of studpid things. And when I say a lot, I mean a lot. Clare for instance, Shaun to a degree, the time when I thought hooker red was a good colour on me- I looked like Boozo- Im known for making some what catostrophic mistakes. Huge. Just huge. Ever getting close to Travis. The list does go on

However this must take the cake.

After a two hour shower I feel like if I move Im going to throw up. My hair still reeks. I smell like smokey booze and bad aftershave. My sister and I should never- and I mean never party together.

We ended up getting drunk, and I was telling her all these things- and the shit about Jake last summer just POOF came out. She was shocked- so being a drunk idiot she called him.

My sisters rather baligerent when shes not drunk- when drunk shes beligernt but hitting on everyone in sight.

I ended up only staying from about 10 to 2/3 I can't remember. Id sobered up a little by then, enough to know that I needed to call my mom to pick me up- but the Gabe (Sisters new boyfriend whos rather cute in a hick manual laborer sort of way) came home, found me crying in the bathroom- drove me the hour home even though he'd worked graveyard all night, and listened to me talk about everything that had gone wrong lately.

He had to help me to the door just because I was so emotional. He gave me a hug good night and told me eventually, despite minor setbacks, Id find my way out. That Shaun, Clare, Bryan, Jake... and everything else I see as mistakes will make sense. He told me at the heart of it, I was a good person who just tried to hard to love people who didn't want to be loved.

Do I know if he's right? No... I know I regret sleeping with his brother. It wasn't even good. Im reallt starting to wonder if I don't just fully bat for the other team. I mean Ive always liked guys, but they're more fun to look at then play with.

Its strange you know... before he cheated on me, I thought sex was sacred, I thought it was a binding of souls. I thought it was an act of commitment you should only give yourself over to when you're really sure.

Now Ive sort of become the drunken easy chick everyone adores.

The night I went drinking with Trinity and Jess, I ended up with a cross between a kicky and a vampire bite. Like RIGHT on my neck. Try exlplaining that to my Catholic Grandmither..

Riiiiight.

xoxo SJ at 10:30 PM.

About Me

Name ♥ Sara
Birthday ♥ o1//o2
Horoscope ♥ Aquarius
School ♥ Of Hard Knocks

Currently

Listening to ♥ Blue October Reading ♥ Reservation Blues

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