SUPERNOVA*

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Fucking Pussyassed boys

The last few days have been kind of hectic. I’ve been really moody, and apparently, not playing well with others. Dominic has been complaining I’m being a bitch or some shit. Apparently I hurt his feelings last night when he was like “At least I’m not like Chris” and I said “Oh, but you are” he got all pissy and left. Now I ask you, how is that different then the shit he talks about everyone else? I don’t fucking like that Chris is the butt end of every joke Dom has, and that he does it when Chris isn’t there to defend himself. I mean what the fuck is up with that? Its one thing to do it in front of him, its another to be doing it when hes not there to even try and cover for himself. I don’t understand how someone can be such a fucking asshole. I mean if you don’t like the guy tell him, don’t dog him behind his back.

Other then that, even the sound of Dominic’s voice is getting on my last nerve. I don’t even really know why exactly, except that Id rather shoot myself then talk to him. I mean he’s just so… assholeish. I mean there’s really no other word for it. He’s just a jerk. Lesley says I feel this way because I like him and don’t want to because I know that he likes someone else, and I don’t believe he could ever want me anyway.

If you looked at the shit he has hanging on his wall you’d think that too.

Right now I don’t really want to “be” with anyone, right now I know I can’t do the whole relationship thing, but I also miss… hugs and cuddles and I don’t know, feeling like… someone cares that I live or die or breathe or eat or cut… Since going home last weekend the urge has been so strong. I was in the shower last night, shaving my legs and I kept thinking “It would be so easy, no one would ever know. No one would ever care.” It hasn’t been this bad in awhile…

Yesterday I couldn’t eat, I managed two chicken strips and some fries but I was full. I just didn’t even want it. I felt gross. Today I ate half a turkey sandwich. I don’t know what’s up with me. I really just don’t understand myself at all.

xoxo SJ at 10:40 PM.

About Me

Name ♥ Sara
Birthday ♥ o1//o2
Horoscope ♥ Aquarius
School ♥ Of Hard Knocks

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Listening to ♥ Blue October Reading ♥ Reservation Blues

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