SUPERNOVA*

Saturday, January 22, 2005

And sometimes... it hurts so much I can't even cry

Was it devine intervention
Or Gods greatest sin?

Im weak
And Im tired

From fighting my way back in

And you're gone
Locked in the cold cold ground

And Im broken
And Im choaking

On my own heresy

No divine intervention
Just blasphemy

'Cause God's greatest sin
Took you from me.

Sometimes it hurts so much all I can do is lay in bed and wish the tears would come. Sometimes I feel like theres nothing left in the whole world worth doing or seeing. Sometimes I feel like the harder I try the more Im lying.

I haven't been able to bring myself to write since the funeral. I walk around between bouts of tears feeling like a fruad. Or being angry at those around me for being happy.

I managed to clear my head for awhile, long enough to bang out a speech and the missing Act from Much Ado About Nothing. I also took my Psych test...

The weekends are the hardest. I haven't gotten to the point yet where it doesnt feel wrong to not be with her on Sunday afternoons.

I miss her so much...

But the hardest part is Ive missed her for so long. The woman we burried was not the Grandmother that raised me. She died a long time ago... but I always had this substitute. I had this thing that sometimes would look and sound like her...

Now all I have are pictures that are too painful to look at anymore.

Im so tired.

xoxo SJ at 11:07 PM.

About Me

Name ♥ Sara
Birthday ♥ o1//o2
Horoscope ♥ Aquarius
School ♥ Of Hard Knocks

Currently

Listening to ♥ Blue October Reading ♥ Reservation Blues

Links

♥ Vintage Vanity
♥ Myspace Vanity
♥ Vanity Fiction
♥ Profile Vanity

Playlist

♥ Wazoo Sings
♥ Chealsea Genzano
♥ Lennon Murphy
♥ Imogen Heap
♥ Frou Frou
♥ Bess Rogers
♥ Regina Spektor
♥ Will Hoge
♥ Lyden
♥ Kyte
♥ Josh Ritter
♥ Amos Lee
♥ David James