SUPERNOVA*

Monday, November 07, 2005

Piffle

So I was really annoyed last night. Mom’s getting to me and I’ve only been home four days. That doesn’t bode well for the rest of the term, erg year that I have to live with her.

Now I know some of you might wonder how it’s humanly possible to be so horrible about my mother and still claim to love her. Honestly I do love her, with my whole heart, but the problem is she’s a hypocrite. I hate hypocrites. She bitches about how little I do when I’m busting my butt at school on 12 hour days and not understanding a lot of things that should be really simple. I have to go and pretend to be nice and like people and act like I want to be around them- when I clearly DO NOT. Then I come home and all she does is bitch at me and say very not nice things, and tell me what a disappointment I am.

I love my mother. I just don’t like her as a person.

Which seems to be really hard for her to understand, its like me loving my dad but not really caring if I hear from him ever again. Talking to him and having him in my life makes my life difficult, it makes me unhappy because he isn’t the person I need him to be. He isn’t a “father” so much as a nice man who knocked my mother up. If I liked my life I might be grateful, but a lot of the time I want to throw noodles at them and tell them I never asked to be born.

That isn’t to say I’m suicidal, I’m not- but if I had known at the end of my 9 months incubation what the next 20 years would be like, I might have refused to come out until I was sure that they were more equipped to be parents.

I shouldn’t have to take care of my mom. I didn’t give birth to her. It was the other way around. I shouldn’t have to pay attention to her and listen to her whine and put up with her shitty ass temper tantrums when she doesn’t like what I have to say.

However, as long as I’m a broke ass college student, I don’t have a lot of option.

Damn it.

xoxo SJ at 12:18 PM.

About Me

Name ♥ Sara
Birthday ♥ o1//o2
Horoscope ♥ Aquarius
School ♥ Of Hard Knocks

Currently

Listening to ♥ Blue October Reading ♥ Reservation Blues

Links

♥ Vintage Vanity
♥ Myspace Vanity
♥ Vanity Fiction
♥ Profile Vanity

Playlist

♥ Wazoo Sings
♥ Chealsea Genzano
♥ Lennon Murphy
♥ Imogen Heap
♥ Frou Frou
♥ Bess Rogers
♥ Regina Spektor
♥ Will Hoge
♥ Lyden
♥ Kyte
♥ Josh Ritter
♥ Amos Lee
♥ David James