SUPERNOVA*

Thursday, March 30, 2006

BRATT Diet

Alrighty, so we're only four days into the term and already my body is rejecting me. I don't know what my problem is but no matter what I eat I end up with heartburn strong enough to kill a horse. Actually, its a bit like a gallbladder attack most nights, burning clear across my back. I think it has to do with stress since I've been trying to eat better. Since obviously that hasn't helped, we're going to the BRATT diet- Bannanas, Rice, Applesauce, Toast, and Tea.

All of that aside, I'm not really miserable yet this term. I like all of my professors, and thus far reading as been super easy.

The schedule is more tedious than anything Monday and Wednesday I have Gill from 9-10 and Math from 10-11. Then I hang out till three when I can catch a ride home with Erin.

Tuesday and Thursday I have Math from 10-11, then nothing until History from 3-4:30, then from 5-6:30 I have Cultural Anthropology.

Fridays are my easy day because I only have Gill, but I’m also stuck on campus from 10-3 waiting for a ride home.

Lots of time to study since no one seems to have any breaks besides me. Which will be good I suppose. I dunno. I’m really sick of school. However, I know that quitting is not an option. Failing is not an option. I might have been able to fuck about after I quit High School, I might have let myself lose nearly three years of my life just laying on my mother’s couch and doing things to set me further back. I don’t have that option anymore. I’m not 15. I am 21 and that means I have to be a grown up (which is just fucking lame, but a fact of life).

Other than that, not a lot is going on. Working on my novel some, reading a lot, trying to figure out if I really want to go into publishing or… just really what I want to do with my life. I honestly, at this point, don’t know. Or I know, but I don’t know how to take what I want to do and make it what I’m paid to do.

I’m also working on making some really important health decisions. I know that I’ve dabbled in researching weight loss surgery before, but it’s become painfully clear in the last three months that it doesn’t matter how I change how I eat, or what I force myself to do, this is not something I can do on my own.

Now it’s a matter of getting to the place that I don’t care what people say about my choice… because really, until they’ve lived in this skin and done the things I’ve done to myself, they really have no room to judge or talk. I am tired of feeling like I have to justify myself, so I’m not going to anymore. Not to anyone. I know this attitude may be a bit hard for some people to take but at this point I can honestly say I know if I don’t do this I will die before I’m thirty… and I think maybe I’m finally angry and disgusted enough at myself to actually go through it.

Anyway, I need to finish up my section of math homework so I can get a jump start on the next one.

Peace, Love, and Chicken Grease
-Sara

xoxo SJ at 12:05 PM.

About Me

Name ♥ Sara
Birthday ♥ o1//o2
Horoscope ♥ Aquarius
School ♥ Of Hard Knocks

Currently

Listening to ♥ Blue October Reading ♥ Reservation Blues

Links

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Playlist

♥ Wazoo Sings
♥ Chealsea Genzano
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